It's an old story about a tailor who wanted to buy a new smoothing iron which, in the profession, they call a goose, because of its strange, bent handle that looks a bit like a goose neck. So as not to be ever short of a goose in his business, he decided to purchase two of the contraptions, but he wasn't quite sure how to order them in his letter. Did he write, 'please send me two gooses,' or was the correct English, 'please forward two geese.' In the end he came up with this. 'Dear Sir, please send me a goose. P.S. And when you're at it, just send me another one.'Do plurals confuse you as well? If my wife orders salmon in a restaurant, will the waitress bring one or a whole plate of them? And should my neighbour's sheep be treading on my lawn, should I expect a lorry load or a single woolen walker? Also, why did my mum always tell me to say 'thanks' when 'thank' would have done equally well and why do we take off our clothes before getting into the bath even if we're only wearing one item? When I was small I just didn't get one measle, never wore 'pant' , 'short' or 'trouser' and never played 'draught' or 'billiard'. The other day when the lawnmower stopped, I didn't reach for a 'plier' and the kids in school never cut sellotape with a 'scissor.' It's all so confusing when you hear a farmer talk about fifty 'head' of cattle, a hunter shooting four 'pheasant' or a fisherman catching six 'trout'. Tell me how are foreign tourists whom come to see our country expected to cope, when we make it so difficult even for ourselves?
I think there are times when we prefer to use plurals, for they often provide us with an alibi or at the very least, a position of diminished responsibility, when we need it most. In simplest terms, they can help shift or spread the blame while at other times help to develop and nurture team bonding. When we develop initiatives as a staff, everyone has a sense of belonging to the project, whereas opposition is more likely to come when a single individual tries to dictatorially impress their plans on others. It's a bit like that with team sport too, when we sing that old Queen song, 'We are the Champions,' we aren't talking about any one outstanding individual but a group who fought and won together. And of course when we as a group make a mistake, it often preserves the anonymity of the one who actually made the error. So in a sense, plurals are a good thing, even if they are a devil to understand at times!
Tonight I watched, 'Flags of our Fathers' directed by Clint Eastwood, a wonderful film about the Second World War and about the reluctance of a few soldiers to be each recognised as a hero when everyone who lived and died on Iwo Jima were heroes, collectively. That was the true spirit of plural, when you don't take the credit alone for anything but share success and failure with those around you. And its the same with my beliefs, for I am part of God's family and we are all undeserving of His grace but all saved by it. But there's the thing to remember. As Paul writes 'in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others' and also likewise 'there are many parts, but one body.' All who believe in His saving grace 'are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.'
Yet when we stand before God on that final day, we don't come as a group to be judged, but as individuals. And in our singleness we become totally responsible for all we have done. One person, one judge, one judgement. No mistakes.
