I is for INK

It was only the tiniest mark but I knew the minute it happened, she had seen it. A minuscule piece of meat just breathed on my tie as it fell to the floor, but my glance downwards was enough to arouse suspicion in her head and within an instant, the eyes were focused on the centre of my shirt, like a cheetah zooming in on its next kill. And then there was that look which, without uttering a word of accompaniment, seemed to say, 'how could you?' How could I? I mean it wasn't as if I had completed some premeditated ritual, that I had spent the whole day planning that precisely halfway through our evening meal I would casually, but deliberately allow a sliver of beef to descend towards the ground but to brush my tie ever so slightly on its journey. However, regardless of my unintentions, there it was lying on the floor, there she was glaring in my direction and there I was, in the soup again, though not literally, for I think that would have put her completely over the edge. Still one gains a degree of satisfaction from the fact that I am not the only husband who acts in such an inconsiderate way at the table and she is not the only wife who finds it to be intolerable behaviour. However I have a long history of similar disasters over the years and a back catalogue of stained or ruined items of clothing ranging from ties and jumpers through to shirts and trousers, some of which still carry a meal time story which I'd rather not hear again. Indeed if I had a dollar for every such unfortunate incident, I would be buying Marks and Spencers rather than shopping in it.And just a word of advice for all those prospective food droppers out there. Explanations are a waste of time for the words 'accident' and 'stain' do not appear to sit comfortably together in the female mind but 'deliberate' and 'ruined' are firm friends.

Yet while gravy, meat, custard, ice cream, jelly, orange juice, milk, fried rice, curry sauce, baked beans, coleslaw and melted butter have all left their own impression down the years, none is quite so stubborn to remove as ink. Almost always, I keep pens in my shirt or trouser pocket and on more than one occasion have been the victim of a leak. Sometimes I'm the last person to notice, until I arrive in the staffroom at break or lunch time and wonder why everybody is staring at where my heart should be or the top of my right leg. Before long, some 'kind' colleague is sure to ask me why my light blue shirt has a red pocket or why my brown trousers are blue on one side. The trouble is, the minute it happens, I know there is no way back and I will be sporting that shirt or those trousers on their very last public appearance. And believe me, it has happened. You see there is no such thing as a leak proof pen. I have the multicoloured shirts to prove it, yet despite several mishaps, I never seem to learn and the next 'accident' can only be somewhere down the road. Which makes me wonder if it really is an accident, when I know that sooner or later it is going to happen. Could I prevent it? Probably. Just in the same way that I could keep my clothes stain free at meal time by enclosing myself in a boiler suit or removing those items of valuable clothing prior to eating, though I guess this would be unacceptable behaviour in most restaurants!

I keep a bottle or two of ink in school, some bought initially for calligraphy and others for the sole purpose of refilling empty printer cartridges. But I have found, even in these more controlled conditions, that traces of the liquid are still able to find their way on to my clothes. So now they sit, in solitary confinement, on a shelf in my classroom for that is the only way I can remain stain free. And isn't that the same for my walk with God, for it's easy to become stained just by being around sin and evil, even when there is no premeditated plan to get so close. Sooner or later, my carelessness leads to a stain and if only I had stayed away, I would be still clean. That's why in teaching us to pray, Jesus reminds us to say 'lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one' for He knows that getting too close may have drastic consequences. But it's not always so easy for every day we are placed in situations that can so easily stain us so like the Psalmist who says 'Don’t keep looking at my sins.Remove the stain of my guilt,' we need to constantly walk close to God and take the advice of Paul in writing to the church at Rome when He says 'Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires.'

Isn't it good to know that God has the greatest stain remover ever in His Son Jesus Christ who is always ready to make everything about us like new again and better still, never to remember our past stains. 'Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.' Take care!