C is for CONFLICT

The trouble with conflict is that everyone thinks they're right. And this belief, however misguided, becomes the rule of thumb by which they live their life and also the manner in which they respond to their opponent. It was brought home to me forcibly last night as I watched yet another programme on 'The Troubles', that unfortunate and rather nondescript title which makes some attempt to define the problems that beset our province for so many years of our adolescence and beyond.

I suppose, like everyone else who lived though those years, before I even view such a programme, I am already suspicious about it, ready to look for any hint of the producers taking sides in the argument. Last night was no different. Immediately I found myself trying to be supportive and positive about the comments from one side of the barricades while treating the other side's remarks with cynicism and disbelief. Yet, in trying to be neutral in my watching, I was amazed at how both sides felt completely justified by their actions and, if not disrespectful to their opponents, at least indifferent to their situation. But this was a world that we were getting used to in the late sixties and early seventies, a world of barricades, of stones, of rubber and plastic bullets, of water canons, of burning buses. A world of conflict right on our doorstep, first in black and white but soon coming in full colour to a town, village or countryside much closer to home.

They said we needed to talk to each other to resolve the conflict, but thirty years of watching hatred, venom and disregard pour out of the mouths of ordinary, everyday people on television talk programmes, where the wounds inflicted were often much deeper and harder to heal than those caused by sticks and stones, didn't fill any of us with confidence. And when the petrol bombs became real bombs and the stones turned to bullets, we all knew that the talking hadn't helped. But at least our vocabulary was widening with talk of civil rights, genocide, no go areas, victims, H blocks, balaclavas, provisionals, snipers, concerned residents, traditional routes, triumphalism, ambushes and the reality of the situation! Like I say, in conflict, everyone thinks that they're right. It's really hard to change that mindset but it's really easy to justify any action. Was it a war between Protestants and Catholics, between the unemployed and the well off, between those who felt Irish and those who claimed Britishness, a war based on inequality, a war over land or possessions or a war between two completely different cultures. I don't really know but I guess there's a bit of all of those and a touch more of some than others.

Anyway we've come out the other side, at least part of the way and in the long process of normalising the country the apparent need to talk has again arisen. They call it conflict resolution. But even as I watch up to date programmes which allow people to reminisce about certain aspects of The Troubles, I'm worried that despite our need to resolve the conflict completely, all these years later we all still believe we were right. Is that progress? Probably, but with a small p. At least, if we still feel hatred, experience had taught us to hide it more discreetly.

So how does Jesus tells us to deal with conflict? Doesn't He say in Matthew 5 to 'Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you' and in Luke 6, 'Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you.' Also in the same chapter, HE says 'If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also.' So He wants us to show love, pray for and do good to our enemies and also not to retaliate. I wonder how many of our human responses during the last thirty years, mirrored His commands? If we want to be more like our Heavenly Father, somewhere along the line we have to be in obedience to Him rather than to our human desires and wishes. Paul hits the nail on the head when he writes, 'For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want.'

The conflict in our country, in our world, is only a reflection of the ongoing conflict in our hearts.
May God give us the grace to resolve it, starting with an outpouring of His love from ourselves to all men. The trouble with God's answer to conflict is that He is right.