B is for BROTHER

Mum had eight, dad had three. That was eleven more than wife and I had between us. Mum's brothers were all very close, though, because it was a large family of nine, spread out over many years, they formed two distinct groups, the older set, of which my mum and three brothers were apart and the other consisting of the remaining five lads. They all grew up in Armagh, just off the Mall but shortly after mum married, the family uprooted and settled in the east of Belfast, within view of the Oval and the shipyard. By the time I really got to know them, four of the brothers had left home and the remaining ones spent a lot of their free time together, playing sport and in the evenings, when they ventured out. They were very close, looked out for each other, had the same circle of friends and seemed to enjoy each other's company. Often, when they were all in the big house on Sunday, they would gather around the piano and sing hymns with the sort of beautiful close harmony that you only find amongst siblings. They had many varying interests and each followed a different sporting path with rugby, hockey and soccer taking centre stage in winter and all dabbling in cricket during sunnier days. Although one found his life taking him to Canada, the rest of 'the boys' as they were affectionately called, stayed in and around Belfast and though their parents are long departed and illness has already claimed the life of their sister and two brothers, the rest meet regularly and there is a strong sense of family bonding and friendship always evident in their gatherings. In recent years, the younger set often meet to play golf and return to the Armagh area on regular occasions to research their family connections or to once again walk in the footsteps of their childhood, around the tree lined Mall and stop with familiar faces from their past. Indeed there is great companionship in close brotherhood.

Dad's brothers were all good friends but never close in the same way. I don't know the reason for that nor could speculate as to why but I guess it was probably a family trait on that side of the tree. They were never regular visits at each other's houses in their latter years but when they did get together, there was still a closeness that only exists among brothers. They all had their own personalities but, not surprisingly each had a few traits of the other and I guess, in some way, all reflected their parents to a greater or lesser degree. Only one remains now and in him I often see my own father and my grandmother when I see him turn his head or hear him say something in a particular way.

As our own sons have grown up, I have seen brotherly love at first hand. In the early years, how the older son cared for the younger baby, how they played together on the carpet in the living room and also in the gardens around the house. We have watched them move on to secondary school and, as their interests and friends differed, become more distant in their relationship for a couple of years. But since leaving school and moving to university, their friendship is now so strong and loving that in them I see what brothers should be. They play music together, have the same wide circle of friends and talk openly with each other about all things, either in person, by text or on their computers. That doesn't mean they don't disagree at times but the bond of friendship overrides all other issues. I'd like to think that in some way, our parenting skills have helped, and that they reflect us in some way though I know better parents than us who cannot claim to have raised such a close family. But I know that the real answer lies in their increasingly deeper relationship with their maker.

The Bible is full of stories about brothers. Some didn't get along too well, like Cain and Abel, Joseph and his brothers, Jacob and Esau but others such as Peter and Andrew, John and James left all and followed Jesus. Do you see what made the difference? As believers we are often called 'brothers' (and sisters) in Christ. Paul, in his letter to the church in Rome tells us to 'Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.' Like I say, I have seen brotherly love at first hand. Jesus makes the difference for He takes our own self interests and places them way down our list of priorities below our concern for our fellow believers.

I'd have loved to have had a brother. Now I have hundreds. Let us all reflect our Father!