H is for HAPPINESS

So what makes you happy? I've been thinking about this all week. I've even looked up the dictionary to make sure that I understand exactly what happiness means and I come across a wide range of words that are meant to express all the emotions that I feel when I'm happy. Pleasure, bliss, delight, contentedness, satisfaction, even exhilaration. Another version told me that Happiness results from possessing or obtaining what is considered to be good so now I'm faced with a far bigger choice than where I originally started out on this voyage of discovery. So keeping all those in mind I try to think what makes me happy.

I suppose, like most kids growing up, my state of happiness certainly increased around birthdays and Christmas when presents arrived but it was a strange, fleeting sort of happiness that often depended on the present itself. Most young boys don't really want socks, jumpers or the like for a present when there is a whole world of exciting gadgets and toys out there. Could the giver of such gifts not see these shops in the high streets? Did they not have children of their own? Anyway, as long as they didn't notice the smile of false happiness that stretched across my face, all would be well. Strangely enough, as the year went on, these presents were the ones that provided the most value and best met my needs, so they weren't so far off the mark after all.

At some stage I began to discover that a certain degree of happiness was attached to giving things to others so I used to save up enough pocket money to at least have something small for mum or dad at Christmas. In later years, this became so much more important than anything they would buy me and I suppose it made me happy that I could repay them in some small way for being there for me as I grew up. But all that tends to fly in the face of the dictionary definition of happiness.

But happiness isn't restricted to just giving and getting. Sometimes it's a wonderful emotion brought about by our circumstances. In football, happiness was always seeing Liverpool win trophies and none brought greater delight than the Champions League victory in Istanbul a few years ago, but sometimes I'm not sure if it's happiness borne out of being able to 'gloat' about our team to supporters of others or relief that we don't have to run the gauntlet of abuse if our teams lose. In any case, it's a very transient thing for if they lose the next game, all the success is forgotten very quickly. Strangely too, much of a football supporter's happiness is from seeing their greatest rivals lose rather than their own team win, a very warped way of being delighted.

When I played rugby, winning cups always brought happiness but even when we won any game, that satisfaction largely depended on your own performance so you could win a very important game but still feel not particularly happy. At one stage, when we were on a major winning streak, I remember feeling no emotion of happiness after some games, simply because we hadn't played well as a team nor I as an individual.

Getting married brought a different sort of happiness, though that one is a bit difficult to describe in words, so let's just say it brings a contentedness that being single doesn't offer. When the babies came along, that was another different ball game of happiness and I think that's when you really begin to marvel at the wonder of God's creation. And for us, there has been no unhappy time with children so I guess God has blessed us in a special way with our family. We've enjoyed seeing them enjoy Christmas, visiting wonderful places on holiday, seeing them be successful in different areas of their lives and just found happiness in watching them grow up into young men.

When I was much, much younger, we used to sing a song at Sunday school which went something like this -I'm H A P P Y, I'm H A P P Y, I know I am I'm sure I am, I'm H A P P Y. Each letter of the word HAPPY was sung on each beat and we all knew it by rote. The other verses substituted the word HAPPY with LOVED and then SAVED but the more I read the Bible, the less I'm convinced that the word 'happy' really describes that feeling adequately. For at the end of the day, happiness is a state of mind, largely dependent on our circumstances. I'm even more convinced when I read James ch 1 v 2 where he writes, 'Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds.' This joy is not about the happiness of circumstances for humanly speaking, it isn't possible to be happy when things go wrong in our lives or tragedies strike our family unit. This type of happiness is an inner joy, brought about by our assurance that regardless of our situation, God is always with us and we have the joy of knowing His presence at all times, good and bad.

As our eldest son reaches 21, it brings great pleasure to know that both of the boys have a steadfast and growing faith in their creator. I guess that's happiness and joy all rolled into one!